Hi Everyone,
Sending so much love to you all. 🧡
It’s April One can you believe it! This Easter is super special for us because we’re celebrating 18 fab Face Faxx years. As well as that we’re only days away from launching your September, Inward Gaze Retreat. We decided we’d leave you alone till after Easter, so make sure you keep an eye out for it next week.
As well I wanted to share a little story, something that still amazes me. It was a little something that happened with my beautiful hubby Greggy, a total misunderstanding! 😜
But, it still gets you, you know, you have these days when there’s a little bit of stand-off-ish behaviour, you don’t know what the other one wants or can’t understand why they’re upset, yeah one of those times. 🥲
When you love someone so much, those times are frigging heart breaking, and that sucky heavy feeling is as strong as it was 30 years ago, when this crap went down.
Anyway, back to the story, (my friend said today I remind him of Ronnie Corbett – I pretended I’d never heard of him, ‘who’s he, you’re too old’ I said. We’re the same age and I knew exactly what he meant . Yeah yeah this dude, Corbett, told 100 stories in one. Anyway, for the people that know this comedian – back to the yacht story. 🤣
Being so near to the retreat launch brings a feeling of elation! I felt a buzzing in my body and released a whole lot of tears. The tears represented a lot of things, especially pride in the team. Not tears of sadness at all, very very happy tears! And only more affirmation that it’s going to be incredible.
So of course what do we do when we’re walking through this sort of stuff? Tell someone you love? I tried Tash but couldn’t get her on the phone. So, I called Greg. ‘I’m so happy!’ I blubbered, with tears of joy running down my face. Which to him sounded more like I was being stabbed! ‘I’m so happy’, he didn’t get it. ‘you need to put it down, it’s time to stop, have a break from it. Go to the ocean’. In his adorable protective way, he immediately started to console me, ‘no no , it’s good, it’s a really good thing I promise!’ The poor guy!
With our wires crossed and him confused, he hung up the phone.
Of course, a text ensued.
( insert text. )
No response, nothing back. 3 hours later still nothing! Because I love this guy so much and hate there to be a misunderstanding left undone, I ring him, no answer, 10 minutes later I ring again, no answer.
My interpretation ….my mind made madness..
Not a word spoken, all in my head, so no inverted commas required. No one said anything, it’s only the silent dialogue that went wild.
Omg, we’re hanging with people all weekend. What I hoped would be a beautiful time has turned to shit. How can we have a house full and be in this hole. It reminds me of that Christmas years ago, when some petty thing left us in the same kind of mess. Oh no, maybe I should cancel? Will I even go shopping for food? Maybe Tash can talk to him?
Why won’t he answer!! What’s up?
I finally got onto Tash. ‘Dad’s not my friend!’ And explained the joy story. ‘Oh, mum, that’s so good! She immediately understood and gave me the sweet reaction I’d expect from her.
Then it dawned on me. It’s Wednesday, it’s baseball training night. (His number 2 love of his life) He’s not even home, heads straight out after work to get completely engrossed in training the boys.
He called me. It’s 10pm. Cheery cheery. Hey baby and slides immediately into his usual update on his training session. Happy as Larry. WT?! Emotionally exhausted but relieved, quickly realising I’d made up the entire scenario in my head.
WT?!
Is it just me and my mental illness or do you make these stories up in our head too, that in reality, never turn out the way you’d been worrying they would.
We’re all graced with these reminders to notice them for what they really are. That is, divinely delivered opportunities to next time capture the rambling BS that loves to control us and instead practice letting debilitating thoughts go as soon as they arrive. We are the master of our thoughts. Try as they might.
Wishing you all a beautiful Easter and I will see you very soon. Keep an eye on your inbox for all the retreat info, it’ll land there in a few days. It’s gonna be so much fun. And the perfect place to learn ways to let go of all that mind made suffering.
Have a wonderful break with family and friends! 🐰
With Love As Always,
Bonnie