Are you ever taken by repeated anxious moments?
This one is a beauty and once upon a time, a regular torment for me.
Wait for it…..I was getting food supplies for the troops. Yep, you heard me right I was shopping for food. I noticed it yesterday. I could feel it bubbling. And thought to my self wow why are you freaking out. Why are you looking down or only at what’s on the shelves? A lot of the time I find being with strangers the best fun and spend my time finding people to connect with in some small way and chatty as ever.
Thing is, the monkey chats when it chooses. Biggest Blessing…. I could feel it bubbling. I NOTICED I WAS DOING MY OLD THING AGAIN. And thought to my self wow why are you freaking out. Lift up your head! Stop avoiding eye contact, get your eyes off the shelves occasionally”.
Man!! stop it already. GOOD THING I’D NOTICED IT. My mind was wreaking havoc on what was such a simple activity! I was missing out on the human connection my true self LOVES.
I swiftly thanked IT, my monkey, for sharing and went on to enjoy the mini-miracles I would have missed if I hadn’t woke up. Like offering bags to a lady at the check-out who forgot to get hers out of the car… you know the —-” I forget my shopping bags again feeling” haha. She was wrapped. And I got to enjoy her gratitude. By conscious choice, I was FLYING again in My real self.
Other cray cray thoughts are the good ol needing the approval to do what I do. Should I be sharing the stuff I share? What will people think? Those thoughts dont feed my soul and only stop me from doing what I love. Writing and sharing with YOU
Or I find my self waking at night, hell-bent on some issue I need to detach from! Hey, BTW if you follow my stuff, my new way of eating helps me sleep through the night, gratefully the midnight chatter doesn’t get a look in.
Or I get hooked by creepy old habits. Thing is, they are part of my HUMANITY. And I love them too. Only today I choose to not to let them CONTROL my life anymore. Or stop me following my heart.. with thoughts of guilt or regret.
I watch and watch and watch. With awareness now, I allow it all. Instead, I watch them shrink smaller and smaller and smaller. It’s not the resistance that shrinks them it’s the noticing that does.
My neurotic ways will NEVER fully leave. It’s a sweet sweet feeling knowing I am not entirely my neurosis and they will only ever inhabit the “Human” part of my “Being”.
The stuff that doesn’t serve us will always be. It’s the knowledge we are far more than what our mind makes us believe about ourselves, that sees a slow release of their debilitating grip. Notice your patterns and fixed way of being, accept it all but move along. Knowing it’s all illusion, merely MIND MADE MADNESS and far from who you REALLY are. Become the ‘noticer’ and watch the shrinkage happen on the stuff that keeps you from living your best life.
Here’s a True crazy good story….I laugh at my thoughts at times,,, “oh man you’re still doing, feeling, and getting trapped by THAT thing! Come on girlfriend!” says the Real me. “you know better”. It’s ok Progress Not Perfection.
When I’m on the other side of an episode that’s taken me for a ride down the crap trap, I find myself laughing out loud. Really! REALLY! Oh man, you’re so funny. Good try! Without criticism of my actions or carrying guilt or regret, I notice and flick it off. Oh unless my involuntary thoughts affect another human, then first thing id to clean up. But if it’s self-sabotage that’s cruelling it for me, I forgive my mind made self and know by owning my patterns I’m healing them.
Explore the OTHER you. The being beyond your crippling thoughts. Your spirit, your soul, your God, Shiva, your nature, your light, Allah, Buddah, your Angel.. Call this space in you what you will. Only know it’ll be waiting patiently for you when you’re ready.
