My sister’s soul is soaring with the Angels now. Thanks for all your love and kindness.
Wow what a woman!! What a sister! What a mother and grandmother! What a wife! What an Aunty! What a friend! A creative talent professionally and also and always just for fun.
I was always so proud of that in Her. Denise’s creative talent was spread across all artistic mediums, she sprinkled that magic on us all. She could transform anything she touched into art.
I remember visiting Denise and her husband Jim at some point in the 70’s. Feels like possibly late 70’s. I don’t think Dad was dead just yet. A little girl anyway. playing with giant toads in the backyard of their first Queenslander house in Logan. The home she welcomed their first treasure, a beautiful baby girl, Naomi.
As soon as I could visit her on my own I did. Many many times. I had so much freedom there. In my early teens I’d meet surfie boys and she’d encourage me to go out with them. Mum would never have let me. Maybe she hoped a sister would settle in Qld someday.
She lined up deportment training for me at the Margot Mott modeling agency in surfers paradise. Trying anything to turn me into a lady. While I loved it and will never forget the way she decorated my work books, Im afraid turning this trashy mouthed rebellious teen into a lady was never gunna happen.
When my son Alex came along I’d take him with me to visit the Bakers and so it went on for years and years and years.
She lived as She died with such conviction and passion for what was her truth.
When we weren’t together which was naturally a lot of the time with me starting a family in Sydney. one cuppa wasn’t never enough while we’d chat on the phone, mosty about how proud she was of her 3 beautiful girls. Talking about the amazing things they’d all done at school since we’d last been on the blower. As they grew She’d share their teenage struggles. And I’d talk about the joys AND struggles of having 3 little ones.
As the girls started moving onto their adult lives, a cuppa and a cut lunch wasn’t enough to see us through a phone call. Chatting about their degrees and the difference they were making in the world.
So the years went. She welcomed her first granddaughter, Angel Laila and you guessed it our looong convos continued…..now I could cook AND serve a baked dinner. We had some serious shit to celebrate! Her Grand babies.
As the years went on and since I’d given birth to my fourth baby, Face Faxx. She designed and coordinated always for us. Guided my merchandising and displays. She told a nurse how proud she was of me in the hospital. I knew she was.
Back to the phone yarns. There was biz to talk about and many other spiritual convos to have. Now I could get dinner done, four loads of washing in and out, have a dunny break and a walk around the block and return home wondering, WTF!?? Natasha’s home from school early. But no. She wasn’t early. I’d been on the phone with Denise again.
And She loved us, all 67 of us!! Yep I said 67 – my ❤️ nephew and I counted them sitting in Denise’s backyard, the day after her funeral. That’s mum’s direct descendants no cousins or extras included in that number. Mums kids and their partners, their kids and their kids kids = 67
Sorry another left turn …
She guided me in these precious conversations. “Now you know what mum would say about that, you know what she’d do”
she’d tell me. The tables turned and mum’s wisdom would come back her way from me too, when I know she needed it ??
My incredible family, my sisters and brothers hung out with Denise in the hospital. night after night shift after shift after shift. Taking turns to do what we all know as mums gentle hand stroking and love giving.
“What are you all doing here she’d say, I’m not dying!! “ She was there to get better. So she thought. To know she was so resistant to Her transition broke my heart the most.
Denise shared a dream she’d had….
“mum came and said I had to go now with her. I told her NO I’m not ready yet.”
Gratefully acceptance did come… ? she did finally accepted she’d be going home soon.
Someone said..
Will you stop refusing to take mums hand now.
YES I will. she said. ?
There’s been loads of tears. But loads of pmsl laughing stories too.
BUT The winner was when she announced….
“I always wanted to have servants around me!”
The miracle which was Denise’s life came and went. Her spirit had joined with our Matriarch and they’re both doin soup and cuppas in heaven now. ?
I had Mum’s presence validated on so many occasions. Mum’s spirit was here, waiting to take her hand and there was no doubting it!
Now TO THE BIG FAT ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.
My family.
Another firm truth was validated throughout Denise’s passing. That is, LOVE.
The love of family. And what we have to give to each other!?
Denise’s passing had divine meaning regardless of whether we chose to accept the opportunity to rebuild relationships or not. Her death brought the choice for each of us. Let go with love or Reunite, on one condition – all bags (ie baggage from the past )must be left at the door.
This story is an edited version of the eulogy Id hoped to share with my family. Very much edited TBH. So thanks so much for allowing me to share bits now with you. It allows more healing.
In the original draft I suggested for us to honour Her souls passing by consciously RE-connecting our lives one day at a time to each other.
I spoke about my gratitude for for the divine intervention that made this happen. Even if for only a few weeks. It was nothing less than a miracle. I’m detaching now and allowing my higher power to be in control.
I know with all of my heart Denise is cheerin me on from heaven and more than happy for me share this with you.
While she didn’t want to talk about her looming death. She loved to talk to me about how great it was to see her sisters, brothers and all their children together.
Come on. Life is for one thing. And that’s LOVING. being loved and giving love. We’d been given back the chance, to leave our bags at the door, and share that love again.
But ….
there I was attached to what I can’t change. Maybe dreaming again. Like I always have. Hoping and praying we could be like those families that shared a picnic now and then. All of us. Ok maybe we’d need to let the council know we were comin to town?
That’s ok I’m unsure of the future .I will allow the past to stay where it belongs, the future to be what it will be and live my best life in this moment only surrounded by people that love me.
She could not have left me a more profound reminder.
Let go Let God.
Thank you Denise. I’ll miss you so much ????
My prayer is that you receive a little message of letting go. Letting go of YOUR loved ones when your turn comes, without resistant and knowing Death IS part of life. Not a loss, no way, the spirit is never lost only transitioned onto a different plane♥️ and ALWAYS in our hearts.
“With Love as Always”
Bonnie ?
(With love always- The words Denise used in her letters and cards to us and I have always used in my letters to you)