Here’s how the 24 hours prior to my 50th birthday went!

I’d spent the morning in bed feeling like crap. Willing time to stand still, dreading tomorrow and wishing no one knew about my looming birthday.

Because I’m such a complicated hard case no one cares anyway right.


Thank GOD, It was no time before the truth presented itself. My thoughts had taken hold again, making up more BS that I’d started to believe. It’s all kinda crazy, the power it has over us. Leaving us believing it as the truth. We live as 2.

The authentic self and the mind-mind self. The majority of humanity lives this way! Including those that KNOW THEY DO IT !!

Anyway back to my story….

Awareness ( I call it God’s voice) always presents quietly and obscurely. I was humbled and shaken by a reminder that I’m the “MOTHER OF MY ONE PRECIOUS SOUL” thanks beautiful Liz Gilbert.
It’s my duty to practice grace and gratitude. My mind-made self loathing once was so powerful it left me in depression for a lot of years. And it pops in to test me still. It’s my constant work but ‘IT’ (mind made bullshit) battles to grip for too long nowadays .

Instead I chose to honour my short fifty years, in respect of my soul, it’s my duty to.

So at 1:32 PM on the eve of my birthday I decided to celebrate my colourful life and rejoice in being 50. I got out of bed, listened to ABC podcasts like all 50 year olds and cooked dinner for my incredible family.

I wanna say …sung really loudly and outta tune to my fav music and danced around the kitchen. But I didn’t, I really listened to ABC and prepared dinner. Simple joys. When I do the dancin’ thing I’ll let you know.

Then BOOM the big day arrived and you know it, I was overwhelmed by JOY and reminded of how deeply LOVED I am.

So there you have it!!

I hope you’re inspired or inSPIRITed to love and nurture soul. It is on loan for a short time so be kind to it. And stop listening to the voice in your head. It’s an illusion!

50 and feeling fabulous‼️

Oh too as if to receive precious written words of love wasn’t enough. They all surprised me with a well planned celebration at my favourite place in the bush.

Get quiet the next time you’re feeling crappy and ask yourself….is this my authentic voice or just my mind made voice making up a story again?!

Here’s a 3 minute video I’d love to share with you. Yeah 3 minutes! but I’ve got an excuse I’m 50 and crappy at editing!!

Thanks for your precious time and being part of my journey to the other side of vulnerability. Posting this brought a load of vulnerability and a voice telling me you can’t write that. Thanks for sharing, I said to that other me, I’m doing it anyway.

Because I KNOW you live with the same stuff and if my saying-it-out- loud helps YOU in some small way. The purpose for my post is done.

Come with me to the other side of vulneribility, there’s a rainbow there!

love bonnie

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